"The sorrow has not left the building..."

Several nights ago, I sat across from my friend at our kitchen table and listened as she updated me about how she was doing. She's been walking through an unimaginably heart-wrenching crisis, and it was good to sit together and hear her heart. At one point she said something that really resonated with me. She said, "don't get me wrong...the sorrow has not left the building, but I keep asking God to give me hope, and He keeps showing me that it's everywhere - all around me!"

That comment was still on my mind a few days later when some of the ladies from our church gave her a "blessings tea." A "blessings tea" is a special afternoon that is set aside to pray for, encourage and bless a friend going through a difficult time. Each attendee is asked to bring a special verse/and or encouraging card/note to share.

I thought about what I should bring to encourage my friend. I kept thinking of 2 Corinthians 6:10, which paints a mysterious picture of Christian suffering as being "sorrowful yet always rejoicing." I pondered my friend's earlier comment and this verse in light of the deep suffering I have seen in her family and in the other families affected by this crisis. A question has been hanging in the air by some of those who have been most greatly affected: is there a point at which suffering is so great that a Christian is just simply going to be in despair?

With these thoughts on my mind, I packed up little Davey Dave in the minivan and headed out to my special "tea party." I was so grateful that Ellis was willing to stay up and watch the kids for me that afternoon after he had worked all night. He will never know this side of heaven how his selfless act that afternoon blessed me!

What I experienced at that tea party was really something special. Six of us sat around a beautifully decorated table, eating delicious food and sipping tea from ornate tea cups. This setting was contrasted with the grief our friend carried to the table. The mystery of God's supernatural comfort in the midst of such heartache is difficult to describe, but we saw His love and hope shining brightly to us despite our great sorrow. 

Our time was filled with scripture, praying and singing. We cried tears, but they were not tears of despair. God's presence was with us and our hearts were breaking with praises to Him for His goodness and for His faithfulness. We laughed heartily, we grieved together heavily, we reverenced God genuinely. I truly felt like we were on holy ground. How could this be, in light of the formidable circumstances that had brought us together that afternoon? 

I was seeing before me a tangible representation of Paul's exhortation to the Corinthians. In Christ Jesus we have the opportunity to experience our calling as those who are "sorrowful, yet always rejoicing."

"Sorrow was beautiful...

When Sorrow sang, her notes were like the low sweet call of a nightingale,

and in her eyes was the unexpectant gaze of one who ceased to look for coming gladness.

She could weep in tender sympathy with those who weep,

but to rejoice with those who rejoice was unknown to her.

Joy was beautiful too...

When Joy sang, his voice soared upward as a lark's

and his step was the step of a conqueror who had never known defeat.

He could rejoice with all who rejoice,

but to weep with those who weep was unknown to him.

'But we can never be united,' said Sorrow wistfully.

'No, never,' and Joy's eyes shadowed as he spoke.

(While speaking) they became conscious of a form standing beside them;

dimly seen, but of a Kingly Presence,

and a great holy awe stole over over them as they sank to their knees before Him.

'I see Him as the King of Joy,' whispered Sorrow,

'for on His head are many crowns,

and the nailprints in His hands and feet are the scars of great victory.

Before Him all my sorrow is melting away into deathless love and gladness,

and I give myself to Him forever.'

'Nay Sorrow,' said Joy softly, 'but I see Him as the King of Sorrow,

and the crown on His head is a crown of thorns,

and the nail prints in His and feet are the scars of a great agony.

I, too, give myself to Him forever,

for sorrow with Him must be sweeter than any joy that I have known.'

'Then we are ONE in Him,' they cried in gladness,

'for none but He could unite Joy and Sorrow.'

Hand in hand they passed out into the world to follow Him through storm and sunshine,

in bleakness of winter cold and the warmth of summer gladness,

'as sorrowful yet always rejoicing.'"

-unknown

Family Vacation

Last week we embarked on our first family vacation since having kids. I have visited our old stomping grounds in NC several times since our move to VA, but this was the first time that Ellis was able to come with us. It felt complete, if that makes any sense, and it felt right. We had so much fun staying with our friends, and God gave our two families lots of genuine, sweet family time together.

Thanks, Rocke's, for hosting us and being so generous and welcoming to us. Your love and hospitality ministered to us and we are thankful for our new family memories.

When I told Mac and Corrie we were going down to visit Calvin, Jack and Luke, they went and filled up their backpacks with all of the toys they wanted to show their friends.

Family picnic. Any parking lot will do!

Traveling together

Playing Hide and Seek

Mac loving the "mist" exhibit at the museum

Pointing out banana leaves after eating Cookout dinner together at Duke Gardens

Mac and Corrie enjoying the new fish pond that was under construction when we moved. Mac has his hands on his face in his signature "I am so excited!" pose. Recently he told me, "Mommy, when I put my hands on my face it makes me feel happy!"

On the walk back to the parking lot, we let the kids run down the hill and cross over a little bridge together.  They looked so cute and tiny on that bridge and they kept yelling, at the top of their lungs to us, "we are on the bridge!"

At the pool with another family that we miss, the Hoyles. It was a fun, relaxing evening and we loved catching up with them. Mac and Cal played together all week in a really sweet way.

Eating burritos at the Eno River. Mac and Jack are infatuated with a fuzzy caterpillar.

Crossing the "bridge of faith." I don't know if any mom can cross this with little ones and not be praying the entire time

And before we knew it, we were back on the road again, enjoying our new PLP (parking lot picnic) tradition. 

Kelly gave us some of their extra dry erase crayons for the road. The kids were happy to color on their drawing boards in the car. Can you guess who colored each board?

Nail Party in the Shade

This afternoon Ellis took Mac to Lowes to get some machine parts for his tools and some new "collection" pieces for Mac's toolbox. Lately Ellis and Mac have been having "man time," which has included cleaning up tree debris from the backyard, fixing things, wrestling, etc.

So when Mac and Ellis got ready leave for their "boy ride" in the car (as Corrie called it), Corrie and I decided we ought to have some girl time ourselves. We sat out on our front porch together and painted our nails (fingers and toes) for the first time ever. That has got to be a pretty special event, so here we are recording it in our scrapbook.

It was really hot out there on that cement porch, so we found a big umbrella to sit under. Corrie said we were having a "nail party in the shade."

We decided to take pictures of each other:

Davey in a Nutshell

Every Day

God showed me recently, in my overwhelmed state, the pride beneath it all. When we are overwhelmed, we are simply feeling reality: we are not in control. If I am feeling overwhelmed, it is because I have been stripped of the illusion that I could handle my situation using my own resources!

Coming to reality is a good thing. A few days ago I thought about all of the things on my schedule, and I was brought to my knees before God. "Lord, I cannot do it." 

I started laying down each task/event before Him and surrendering them all to Him. "Lord, you must do it, because I cannot!" Whether it has been household tasks or the logistics of juggling the three kids with various meetings/events, I have presented them to God, one by one. 

I feel I should not be amazed at this by now, but somehow I am always surprised by God's faithfulness and supernatural intervention in our lives. The joy and peace I have experienced as I have walked through my days with Him has been a true delight. He is so efficient! He is so good at what He does!

Last night I walked into our bedroom, ready to collapse onto the bed after a particularly full few days. I was letting out a sigh of relief that things had worked out so well after wondering how in the world everything was going to fit together. I said to myself, "Whew! Thank goodness the hard part is over. The next few days will be easier." What I was really thinking was, "God did a great job with those complicated days! These next few ones are simple enough for me to handle." 

I am glad that I kneeled down by my bed to pray, even though I didn't feel I needed to.  I realized that the next day was actually feeling really stressful after all. I was supposed to run a 5K adventure race with two of Ellis' co-workers, and I hadn't been able to train at all! It was so reassuring to trust the Lord with the race and everything thing else for the next day, and I am happy to say that God provided so kindly. 

Ellis decided he wanted to come and cheer me on with all the kids. When I saw him strolling up to the starting line to see us off, I felt he deserved the amazing husband of the year award. He and the kids followed us along to the various obstacles in spite of the rough terrain and heat. Ellis did not complain once, and he had such joy on his face: he was so happy for me to have the chance to run around and have fun. 

He took pictures of us right before the race started. Holly and Dannielle decided to name us "Team Golytely (pronounced 'go lightly')," which is the name of the drink they give to patients to "clear the pipes" before a colonoscopy (doctor humor). I felt a little uncomfortable in the skin-tight tank tops, but it really didn't matter. We were about to be covered in mud anyway!

Pretty soon we were off...like a herd of turtles!

There were so many obstacles that it was really fun. Running is probably my least-favorite physical activity, but if you can break it up with some adventurous activities I am all for it.

Here we were near the very end, waiting to climb up one of the last obstacles, which was a huge inflatable slide going down into a giant mud pit. 

I managed to get some video footage of us going down the slide. Don't ask me how, but I ended up completely submerged in the two-foot deep muddy disgusting water at the bottom. I was so out of sorts when I stood up that I fell down in the grass trying to get over the inflated side wall. All in all, a pretty fun time :)

I actually did run all three miles and I did not even throw up one time. It was a fun day and I am grateful to God for the day. I am realizing that every day is really God's day, not mine. Every day is a chance to die to my illusion of "making through the day" by my own resources and join God in reality!

"He looks like a man trapped in a baby's body!"

That's what a friend said yesterday when she saw Davey for the first time in a while. Awe...sweet little Davey...he always has looked a lot like a balding, middle-aged man to me. Bless his little heart...he is still a cute little guy.

Here he was the other day playing on the floor. I had left him laying on his back and heard him crying a short while later. He had rolled over and couldn't find his toy :)

Little D has also started eating solids. Poor guy...I think I was starving him: I started out with the customary, very watered-down rice cereal and he demolished that immediately. By the third day of solids he was eating three big bowls a day! Here he was sitting in his high chair for one of his first meals...a snapshot of his life right now (can't even enjoy a peaceful meal w/out his big brother trying to dangle a car on a string in front of his face!)

Ellis and I got to have a little date with Davey all to ourselves last weekend when we went to a wedding. Like the other two kids, Davey loves being on Ellis' shoulders, but unlike the other kids, he is constantly flailing around and laughing and enjoying the suspense of almost falling off!

Another thing I want to mention about our "Davey Dave" (as Mac and Corrie call him): He is so excited about life and discovery and being active. When I pick him up after a nap, he gives me huge belly laughs and squeals and grabs onto me and tries to run right up my body and jump off!

When I am nursing him, I have found there are certain shirts I simply cannot wear and certain pillows or interesting toys that cannot be around. He will be so interested in the patterns and playing with them that he will not eat. I started singing to him while he is nursing, and that has kept his attention long enough to get somewhat of a meal in him. It's been very sweet and I am treasuring the short window of time that we have to spend together like this.

The Real Us

*Note: that blue thing blocking our view of Davey is a miniature plastic trash can that Mac brought on our hike today. He had to stop every few minutes to pick up various little rocks he spotted along the way. Instead of saying "cheese" for our picture, he held up his little trash can and yelled, "Tiny Rock Collection!" 

Seven Years

Seven years. Or, as Mac and Corrie would say, seven "ears." Today was our anniversary, and we had a great evening up on the mountain together overlooking the valley. We talked about our year and what we look forward to for next year. There is a lot of unknown, but we prayed for direction and we prayed that God would keep drawing us closer each year.

On another note: I have been working with Mac to help him start dressing/undressing himself. He has finally been getting his underwear on by himself, which is usually backwards, inside out, twisted, etc. 

This morning he came into the kitchen as I was making breakfast, and I realized he had taken the initiative to put his shorts on all by himself. Great job, Mac!

If you can't tell, what you see at the bottom is the elastic waist and tag of the shorts. Somehow he managed to squeeze himself into one pant leg, inside-out and up-side-down. That's gotta be some kind of record.

The funniest part about all of this was how he was totally content with his "shorts." He went around for quite a while like that all morning, totally unfazed. That's Mac!

Thanks, Camerons

A few weeks ago we had a special treat: the Camerons (minus Justin) came up to visit for a couple days. The story of how Jessica and I have become friends is pretty great: She grew up with Ellis until he was about fifteen, and then her family moved away. Ten years later, Ellis and I were living in NC and heard that Jessica and her husband were close by in Raleigh. 

We visited each other and went on hikes together until our family moved up here to VA. Then, last year, God paired Jessica and I together in discipleship program through Called to Obedience Ministries.  It's been a sweet experience growing in our faith together, and it was great getting to see Jessica in person. 

Our kids had a blast playing together. I am not sure I have met a human on this planet with a better tolerance for Mac's "close-up" style of relating than little Joel. It turns out that he has no personal space either, so he and Mac were in each other's faces non-stop. Joel also didn't mind Mac's rough play, which is something else I am not used too! 

Jessica's other son, Jobe, is the cutest little guy and so adventurous! All of the kids had a blast on the popular activity of our house: riding down the hill.

We also put the Aldi sprinkler to good use:

I came outside at one point after tending to Davey to find that the Cameron boys were enjoying Mac and Corrie's bikes. What were Mac and Corrie doing, I wondered? Oh, yes, playing in the dirt. Why is dirt the only toy they seem to play with?

Jobe absolutely loved Davey. He was always interacting with him and I think you can see that enjoyed holding Davey, too.

When it came time to get dinner ready, we put a video tape in the old TV downstairs and all of the kids snuggled up on the couch together. It was pretty cute seeing them all with their various blankees and stuffed animals of choice.

Another really great part of the visit, for me, was Jessica's godly influence on me as a mom. I came out to our living room after feeding Davey to see that Jessica was teaching the kids the Bible story about the Israelites and Jericho. They built a city wall with our foam blocks (complete with Rahab), and were preparing to march around the city with their musical instruments.

The scene was funny and sweet, but it also really impacted me. "Do you have your kids' CBS folders?"  Jessica asked me. We both happened to be involved with the same Bible study this past year, even though we attended it in different locations. I hadn't realized what a great resource God had placed right under my nose to be teaching Mac and Corrie about Him.

After the Cameron's left, I got to thinking. I remembered what an impact my last trip to NC had had on me. I realized I hadn't been very intentional in a long time about including God in our daily activities/life with the kids. Since that trip, I started talking about Jesus a lot to Mac and Corrie whenever a chance came for me to communicate who He is and the reality that He is here with us.

After Jessica left, I prayed again that God would help me to be intentional about teaching the kids. That's when an idea came to me: Snack Time Bible Study! I was thinking about those notebooks Jessica had directed me to, and it turns out there is a little, 5-minute lesson already prepared with a memory verse song and a coloring page!

The first day this idea came, I explained to Mac and Corrie what we were going to do and I shared the lesson while they ate their snacks. Afterwards they colored their pages and we put them up on the wall. "Would this last?" I wondered. Well, it's been a few weeks, and we are still going strong. I am loving it. I hope Mac and Corrie are, too. I just can't believe how good God has been by providing all of this for me to share with them.

Here the kids are making music to God like David did when he played his harp for King Saul. Even Davey had an instrument to play.

Each lesson the kids will have the funniest comments. The first lesson, entitled, "God Made the World and Everything in it," caused Mac to ask if we could please take a rocket ship ride to outer space so we could look at planet earth, which he said is his favorite planet. Corrie asked if she could go see Saturn.

The other funny thing about our Bible study is seeing how they color. Mac will hold one crayon in each hand and reenact the story by making the crayons talk to each other while they move around on the page. There is no attempt to actually "color" the pictures or stay in any lines. Corrie, on the other hand, will pick out little things on each page she wants to color. Maybe it's a mouth, or a nose, or hands, but it's never the whole scene. She gave Eve a really funny looking mustache.

Can you guess who colored each of these pages?

And one last comment about the Snack-Time Bible Study: What is it about king David? It seems like we end up coloring about everything I keep having to discipline Mac for doing. I am constantly on him for dumping things on Corrie's head (bathwater, dirt, etc.), and the other day our lesson was about Samuel dumping oil on David's head! Don't even get me started about throwing a rock at Goliath.